Journal

reflection

The year’s almost end. stories I made were so long gone. Now facing all this new part, new chapter, new stories … I wanna build it with faith. So many things happened back then. So many tears, so many joy. Things I’d never thought I could do, things I never thought I won’t do. All of them fold into this yearbook of mine. Along with its memories and shades. I still  kinda feel the bitter of each sad story I gathered this year. As they say, happy feelings are easy to fade but sad moments stay. Three first month is the highest tense. Then slowing down for sure. Next I find all of my old friends,  gathered in one. Everything kinda full with colors, candies and fun. Afterall, there’s nothing in this world can replace a sweet friendship🙂

Yet later on I discover one thruth. One reality might blew my world up. The feelings of losing, unworthy, unloved. Hurt, pain, sadness. Through all the joy, they won’t ever be the same.The feeling of losing someone. Broken your trust into shreds. Facing that reality get me numb. Pulling my head so hard I get too deprived to wake. So far Nothing has been done to make it right. And feelings from the losing before still haunting me so bad, I gotta spend times crying alone …

Even so, I know I had one chance to prove that I too, worth being happy. And hell, I had this sweet loving care young lad with me. And of course one naughty angel too. I discover we had to crawl the night to cure some pain. Cover the shade of sun during the day, only to hide some tears. Survive and struggle along that rocky road. Just to figure out when we finally see the sky, there’s rainbow painting our life with colors. So what to face this year? I dunno, I can only say I’m ready. That sweet lullaby you sang to me back then, make me realize one thing: I’m happy being alive.

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